


Quality Together Time

by 777777799



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9684683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/777777799/pseuds/777777799
Summary: Twelve boys aspiring to make it in Korea's music industry must first make it through college life. The hardest part so far isn't the long training and studying hours, but learning to tolerate each other to reach the ultimate level of #squadgoals. You thought you were awkward in junior high? Well, this is college and you haven't seen anything yet.





	1. Coming Over

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably go on for quite a few chapters so I might publish some smaller stories in between these updates. I'll try my best to update either every week or every other week.  
> I personally find school AUs to be a great source of humor, so I hope I can humor all of you as well. Please leave feedback and suggestions for what you'd like to see! I'll try to incorporate anything you suggest!  
> Thanks for reading!! Enjoy!!

Yifan hurriedly shoved some bills at the taxi driver and grabbed his luggage with his phone held between his shoulder and ear. He waved at the driver as he got out to say “keep the change,” and stumbled out of the vehicle. He let out a grunt as he nearly tripped on the curb he swore wasn’t there before. Under dark sunglasses, he looked around to make sure no one saw.

“Oh my god!! Yifan, honey, are you okay? What was that? Did someone try to rob you already? Are you-”

“Mom, mom, calm down, I’m fine. I just tripped and I didn’t even fall. Anyway, I really have to get going now,” Yifan said to the frantic voice on his phone. “I promise I’ll call you as soon as I make it safe and sound to the dorms. I love you.”

“Okay, well I guess I need to let you go now. Stay safe, do well in school, make friends and, son?”

“Yes, mom?”

“Get a girlfriend.”

Yifan groaned. “Y-yes, mom. Bye, mom,” he said, hanging up. He wouldn’t admit it, even if you came up to him right then and there, but he found his eyes slightly damp. He missed home already and was anxious for the college years to come. He lightly dabbed his eyes with his sleeve and joined the crowds of people at Vancouver International Airport.

-

Luhan made sure to do a quick once-over in the mirror before he left. He fluffed out his bangs neatly underneath his black beanie. He wore black jeans with holes at the knees (his mother called them a “disgrace” but he argued back the jeans are a “fashion statement”), white Vans sneakers in the style “Old-Skool” and a white TVXQ t-shirt. A car beeped loudly from outside.

“Coming!”

Luhan quickly grabbed his suitcases and ran outside to greet his friend waiting for him in a car. He piled his luggage into the trunk with some spilling out into the back seat. Finally, he sat down next to his friend, buckled his seat belt, closed his eyes and rested his hands behind his head. Lao Gao turned on the radio as they drove to the Beijing airport, with Luhan talking excitedly the entire way. Lao Gao mostly listened and smiled.

When they arrived, Luhan gave Lao Gao a strong and lasting hug. It was a man hug, as in, very, very manly. Luhan definitely wasn’t crying and that definitely wasn’t a tear stain on his friend’s shirt once they parted.

As he walked away, Luhan kept waving, despite carrying loads of luggage. It looked rather awkward and people around him couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t wait for me to find a girl and lose your virginity!” Lao Gao called to him. Luhan stuck his tongue out. He didn’t see where he was walking, so he ran right into the glass door of the airport. His tongue left a wet mark on the polished glass.

Door issues were the least of his worries, however, as he just wanted to survive the plane ride to his destination. He always wanted to travel, but his acrophobia always limited how far he could go. This time, he had to endure it to begin his new life as a transfer student in Korea. He took a deep breath and made his way to baggage check.

-

Ztao was nervous, but he tried not to show it. He was mostly afraid of the kinds of people he’d meet on Korea. Not that he thought that Koreans in general where rude, but he was afraid he’d get mocked for his accent. He’d been studying Korean for a little while but still mispronounced quite a few words. He was always a loner, but he would still be disappointed if he couldn’t make any friends due to the language barrier.

So, he sat on the plane with his Gucci sunglasses on and his hands shoved into the pockets of his faux leather jacket, trying not to draw any more attention to himself than need be. If that didn’t say “don’t bother me,” he didn’t know what would.

He suddenly thought about the possibility of having really annoying roommates, or roommates that were all Korean and decided to tease him about it. He tried to think positively, but it was easier said than done. He then felt something tickle his left hand, so he took off his sunglasses with his right to get a better look. There was a large, black spider resting on his pointer finger.

He let out a high-pitched yelp and flung the spider on the people sitting behind him. The whole airplane cabin was in screaming disarray and confusion. Heart still rapidly beating, he sank down lower in his seat and hoped that incident was no indication about the things to come.

-

Yixing was ecstatic that he managed to arrive in Seoul from Changsha, safe and sound. He did nearly miss his flight since he accidently went to the wrong terminal, but still made it just in time. He also managed to find his way (with the help of some nice old grandmas he met) to the performing arts college where he’d be spending the next few years. He was proud that he got so far from where he came from, but the only thing standing in his way was finding his dorm building.

He studied the crumpled map he was holding and looked up at the huge tree he thought he passed for the hundredth time. He kept walking until he came across a large field. Yixing was just happy that he didn’t recognize it, which meant he was going in a new direction. He then realized that he was holding the map sideways, and chuckled.

“Aiyoo…”

As he corrected it, he heard someone yell “WATCH OUT” in Korean, followed by a curse in Madarin, (that he recognized as the F-bomb), as a hard force hit his head. Before his vision went dark, he imagined little unicorns and stars circling his temples like in some children’s cartoon.

-

“Minseok, meet some hot guys I can date, okay? Send me pictures,” Minseok’s sister begged as the train pulled up in the station.

“I will, I will,” he said, smiling and ruffled her hair gently. He grabbed his bags and dragged them onto the train. He waved and blew kisses to his parents and sister as the train pulled off.

Minseok settled into a seat by a window and put his earbuds in as he tapped his foot to a song by Big Bang.

He was worried about having to live with five other people. He was extremely neat, bordering on OCD, and liked a place for everything and everything in its place. If he lived with a bunch of slobs, he might just rip his hair out. Minseok also enjoyed getting his “beauty rest” and didn’t want to have to compromise with a bunch midnight of party animals. He was also very quiet by nature and wasn’t sure how much he’d enjoy having to socialize with a bunch of new faces at a new school. Let alone, live with them.

Minseok sighed. He also thought about joining the soccer team like he did in his old school and in high school, since that was where he made most of his lasting friends. Thinking about playing soccer again lifted his spirits as he stared out the window at the passing scenery. How peaceful.

-

Kyungsoo was the first to arrive at dorm K – 01 in building E.X.O. He looked around at the lightly furnished apartment-style dorm. He ventured around and opened each door. There were three bedrooms that comprised of two beds, a closet, window and two desks. All of the doors led to an open area with some couches, a coffee table, a TV, and a small kitchen. He also found the door to the large bathroom they shared with the neighboring room. He heard some yelling in what sounded like Chinese from the other dorm, so he closed the door quietly and retreated back into his own.

With him, he brought some groceries for the first night’s dinner. He decided to cook pasta for everyone, including the Chinese neighbors, thinking that it would be nice to share their first meal together. Besides, home cooked is always the best.

He hummed quietly as he cut up the vegetables and waited for his dorm mates to arrive. He hoped they would be quiet, respectful and studious.

-

“WE’RE HERE! THIS! THIS IS WHERE OUR FUTURE REALLY BEGINNNSSS!!!” Chanyeol yelled as he leaped out of the bus with his luggage in tow. As soon as he landed, he did a dramatic dab. Jongin ran after him with a smile on his face, while Sehun calmly walked off the bus, sighing. He began questioning his life choices (and his choice in friends), when a loud thud was heard a short distance away on the soccer field. All three boys turned to see what happened.

There was a boy lying on the ground with what looked like a map covering his face, and a soccer ball rolling to a stop a few feet away. There was also a boy running to the downed man, yelling, what were probably profanities, in frantic Chinese. The boy stood there a moment looking around nervously. Sehun pushed Chanyeol and Jongin behind a bush and they watched the scene quietly.

The boy then picked up the map off the unconscious male’s face and tried to poke his cheek and shake him to try to wake him up. It wasn’t working, so after a few more Chinese curses, the boy started dragging the body with some difficulty.

“Should we… should we go and help out?” Chanyeol asked.

“Maybe… we just shouldn’t get involved,” Sehun said. He just wanted to get his room key and sleep. He didn’t want to stick his nose in anything that wasn’t necessary.

The trio watched a little longer as the body was dragged to a dorm building. Once they lost sight of the body and the boy, they made their way to the main office to retrieve their keys.

-

Junmyeon stood at the gates of his new university. He took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled as he took in the camps. He smiled at the tall trees and brick buildings. Although the school was in the city, it still has quite a bit of space with benches to sit on, trees to provide shade, and a nice field toward the back.

“Ah, I can’t wait start in a few days.” He was excited for his classes and meeting new friends, he decided, as he walked toward the main building to get his dorm key. He certainly hoped for good dorm mates. He’d be sharing a dorm with five other people and a conjoining bathroom with six more on top of that. Although he wasn’t the neatest person in the world, he ventured that since it was college living, no one would care about his organizational skills all that much. He also thought that there was bound to be at least one he didn’t particularly like, but he was optimistic that most wouldn’t be loud, annoying-

“YEAH BOI!!! WOOT!! COLLEGE LIFE BEGINS WITH THESE KEYS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!”

“Chanyeol! For the hundredth time DON’T TOUCH my PERFECT BUTT, you BUTT.”

-like that.

This “Chanyeol” fellow was tall with limbs that seemed to fly everywhere as he moved with an extreme amount of energy. He was like one of those air powered floppy things in the front of car dealers. His annoyed looking friend, who did seem to have a nice butt, furrowed his thick brows and crossed his arms after hitting Chaneyol across the shoulder. The third boy with them stifled back laughter as he leaned on the grumpy kid for support before he doubled over.

“I’d hate to be around that crowd for too long,” Junmyeon muttered as he retrieved his key and room number.

He turned around only to find Chanyeol standing right there, staring down at him with a huge (very creepy) grin. Junmeyon jumped slightly as the tall, large-eared guy put his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t help but overhear that you’re in dorm K – 01,” Chanyeol said. He pulled out a card with a matching K – 01 printed on it. Junmyeon craned his neck to stare at the giant with a shocked and slightly disgusted expression.

“Hello, dorm mate! I’m Chanyeol, grumpy here is Sehun and this tan, golden beauty is Jongin.”

Jongin gave a small wave and Sehun was preoccupied with something on his phone. Junmyeon felt a headache coming on.

-

Baekhyun and Jongdae stumbled into the cabin of another train car. They carried their many bags of luggage and tried to find some unoccupied seats.

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out of the quiet car, Jongdae.”

“Hold on, _I_ got us kicked out? I seem to remember a certain someone start singing “I Got a Boy” and that old lady giving you the evil eye.”

“Yeah, well you kept throwing paper planes at that dude in front of us.”

“At least I was being quiet!! It was a quiet car!!”

“At least I was being quiet,” Baekhyun imitated.

“You know what; let’s just find a seat before we’re kicked off the whole train.”

“Try next to that guy. I’ll nab the seat across the way.” Baekhyun pointed to a kid whose age could range anywhere between fifteen and twenty. He really wasn’t sure, but at least the guy didn’t give off the creepy old man vibes. He had earbuds in and seemed like he was resting rather peacefully with a small smile gracing his lips as he looked out the window. Jongdae went to ask if the seat next to him was taken, when the train lurched to a stop and Jongdae lost his balance, launching himself on the boy’s lap.

He looked up sheepishly at the kid’s shocked face and realized they had matching Seoul Arts University sweatshirts on.

“Hey,” Jongdae started and waved at the boy while still on his lap. “Nice shirt you got there. I’m Kim Jongdae!”

“K-Kim Min…seok…”

-

Ah, yes. It was going to be quite an eventful year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based some of the content on truth so here you go if you didn't know these things already:
> 
> -Kris did live in Vancouver and although he was teased about It I think it was sweet that he cried when he talked to his mom  
> -Luhan does have a childhood friend named Lao Gao, Luhan also did run into a glass door once and he is afraid for planes and heights in general  
> -Minseok was voted by the other members as the neatest/most organized  
> -Everyone agreed that Kyungsoo's pasta is boss  
> -Suho, although he is that "mom friend" they all said that he's actually pretty messy  
> -Chanyeol, Sehun and Kai go way back (their predebut pics are cute lol)  
> -Baekhyun is most definitely an SNSD fanboy


	2. Hello, Hello (Part 1)

Luhan had been the second person to arrive at dorm M – 00. Still a bit shaken from the plane ride, he had earbuds shoved in and music playing for comfort, as he unlocked the door and stepped inside his new residence. He stopped in his tracks when the door opened and a sea of tan cardboard boxes greeted him. Over the music blasting in his ears, he could hear a deep voice sounding from one of the bedrooms. He popped out his earbuds and carefully trekked over the boxes to greet his new dorm mate.

Peeking through the slightly ajar doorway, Luhan expected to see two people having a conversation. Instead, he spotted only one person talking on their cell phone in Mandarin. The man was definitely taller than Luhan and looked rather intimidating with hard features and thick brows. The only thing that made Luhan a bit less afraid of the giant was the conversation the man was having with the person on the other end of the phone.

“No, mom. No issues at the airport… No, mom, no one has tried to rob me yet… Yes, mom, of course I’ll use protection.” Noticing Luhan standing in the doorway, the man turned and whispered “one minute” in Korean. Luhan nodded politely and tried to stifle back some laughter, which resulted in an extremely odd (and very ugly) facial expression.

“Uh, mom, sorry but I gotta go. One of my dorm mates is here. Love you, mom.” The man made a kissing noise at the phone and then hung up. “Uh, that was my girlfriend I was talking to,” he continued to Luhan in Korean. “She, uh, you know… misses me already. Uh, I’m Yifan by the way. I’m this dorm’s RA.” He held out a hand for Luhan to shake. This “Yifan” guy actually seemed pretty shy and he mumbled slightly. His contrasting badboy exterior really added to Luhan’s growing amusement.

“I’m Lu Han, but just call me Luhan,” he said in Korean, taking Yifan’s hand. “Also, that sure as hell didn’t sound like your girlfriend on the phone,” Luhan continued, switching to Mandarin. He made sure to annunciate his native Beijing accent.

Yifan stood there with a blank expression, still shaking Luhan’s hand, for what felt like forever. He finally snapped out of it, dropped Luhan’s hand and responded back in Chinese.

“Well… uh… glad to be rooming with another Chinese student.” He broke into an awkward smile and scratched his neck, as Luhan let his laughter go at his odd dorm RA. They soon became more comfortable with each other and chatted away in Mandarin about where they came from and their lives back home. Luhan learned that Yifan was originally from Guangzhou and moved to Vancouver with his mother, and Yifan learned that Luhan had spent all of his life in Beijing. They were both transfer students from different colleges and enrolled at Seoul Arts for the music program.

After unpacking their things in separate rooms, Luhan wanted to go out and practice a bit for soccer. He offered to Yifan, who declined, saying that “soccer is not my style,” but he’d totally be down if Luhan ever wanted to play basketball. He also wanted to stay back and wait for the others’ arrivals.

Before Luhan scooted out the door, he called out to Yifan in falsetto to imitate a woman’s voice: “Don’t get robbed and remember to use protection!” Yifan tried to throw an empty box at Luhan’s head, but Luhan closed the door and ran before it reached him.

-

Luhan felt lucky that no one else was on the field when he got there. Since he had arrived on campus, he was eyeing it up, unable to contain his excitement. A couple of hours on a flying death trap and he really felt the urge to run around and get some fresh air. It wasn’t much fun playing alone, but he aimed to join the soccer team and make friends in due time. For now, he was practicing some fancy show-off tricks he saw his idol, Cristiano Ronaldo, perform. He got a few down where he could at least be labeled at mediocre compared to Manchester United’s #7, but still, some other tricks sent the ball flying in all sorts of wild directions. One kick was all it took to send the ball speeding toward some random kid who wandered onto the field.

“WATCH OUT!!!!” Luhan yelled in Korean, then switching to a slew of Chinese curse words when the boy looked up too slowly and the ball hit him square in the noggin. The guy didn’t even stumble or waver; he fell stiffly backwards with the paper he was holding landing right on his face. Luhan, being the amazing and good person that he is, ran as fast as he could to the fallen body (while still cursing like a sailor). He looked around nervously. Thank goodness no one seemed to be around.

He removed what looked to be a map from the guy’s face. The map had one area circled in red pen. “Building E.X.O., dorm M – 00,” Luhan read aloud. “Hey, that’s my dorm… oh SHIT I KILLED MY DORM MATE. HEY!! HEY!! YO!! YO GUY!! DUDE?!... roomie? Are-are you really dead? Hello? Shit, SHIT HE’S REALLY DEAD.” Luhan began to mutter incoherently between Chinese and Korean as he poked the man’s cheeks. When it was clear the man wasn’t waking up, Luhan’s last resort was to drag the body up to the dorm. Maybe the RA would know what to do.

Luhan grabbed the man under the arm pits and pulled. He was heavier than Luhan thought (or maybe Luhan was really weaker than he remembered). He figured he would come for the man’s luggage later and incinerate it with the body. Can’t get convicted if you don’t get caught in the first place.

“I-I’m too young to go to prison, goddamnit,” Luhan muttered as he dragged the limp body up the stairs. “And it’s only the first day here… I mean I just wanted to play some soccer!! Cristiano Ronaldo probably never killed anyone with a soccer ball. I don’t deserve this. Luhan did nothing wrong 2k17!! Poor Lu, your face is too soft for prison they’ll eat you alive. DEER CAN’T LIVE WITH A BUNCH OF HOOLIGANS.” He let out a cry as he struggled up the last step. “Fuck, fuck, fu-”

“Excuse me, good sir, but some of the language you were using wasn’t very polite,” the body said in Chinese. Luhan let out a very high-pitched and unmanly scream as he dropped the body on the ground right in front of the dorm.

“Aiyo weiii…” the boy said rubbing his head that hit the ground.

“OH MY GOD?!?! YOU’RE NOT DEAD? I’M NOT GOING TO JAIL?... But wait, ANOTHER ONE?” Luhan says in Mandarin and groans. “Wait if you were awake this whole time and you could understand me then why didn’t you say anything?”

The man stood up, brushed his clothes off, shrugged and smiled innocently. “I dunno. You seemed to have things handled. Plus, I was a bit sleepy.” On one cheek rested an irresistibly cute dimple and Luhan’s anger couldn’t help but settle at the sight. The man was also wearing a shirt with a glittery unicorn on it, which amused him almost as much as Yifan’s phone conversation.

Luhan sighed. “Come on, let’s get inside the dorm...uh…”

“Yixing. Zhang Yixing.”

“I’m Luhan.”

They stepped into the dorm to find Yifan on one of the couches with a tough looking blonde boy curled up next to him, hugging a panda pillow pet.

“Gege!! One more picture!” the blonde whined.

“Zitao, we already took, like, fifty selcas…”

“But… I need to remember this moment! You-you really saved my life, ge!” Zitao pouted. Yifan sighed and agreed to just one more selfie. Zitao smiled widely and quickly positioned his phone in the perfect 45 degree selfie taking angle, when Luhan cleared his throat in the background. Yifan and Zitao both turned to the doorway where the other two boys were standing.

“Sorry if we’re, uh… interrupting anything, but I wanted to introduce you to our newest dorm mate, Zhang Yixing. I um… found him wandering outside. The poor guy was lost so I helped him,” Luhan explained. Yixing simply shook his head and smiled, revealing that oh so innocent dimple.

“Nuh-uh. Luhan-ge kicked a soccer ball to my head and I fell and he dragged me here while cursing and taking exactly eleven breaks while carrying me. He’s not very strong you know. I don’t weight all that much.” Yixing was still smiling. Luhan felt like he was stabbed in the gut.

“Ohh, so that’s what all of that cursing and screaming was about,” Yifan said.

“Wait, you HEARD THAT? WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO HELP ME YOU TALL-ASS SASQUATCH?” Luhan shouted. Yifan shrugged.

“Don’t yell at Yifan-ge, he literally saved my life,” Zitao snapped.

Luhan scoffed. “Yeah? From what?”

“A HUGE spider.” Zitao shuddered at the memory.

“It was a normal sized spider,” Yifan said gently.

“HUGE!”

“So I was dealing with a possible murder while you two fended off an itsy bitsy spider?”

“That was the second spider I saw today!! They’re out to get me,” Zitao buries deeper into Yifan’s side.

“It’s okay now, didi,” Yifan says, patting Zitao’s head. Luhan rolled his eyes.

“Luhan, if I died back there that would have been your own fault.”

“Shut up Yixing!” Luhan squealed.

“You guys are lucky I have unicorn healing powers or I would have been a goner,” Yixing whispered.

The three decided to ignore that comment and went back to yelling at each other. The yelling was mostly in Chinese with a few Korean words scattered throughout, and an English word or two, courtesy of Yifan. They started out just arguing about Luhan injuring Yixing and the spider, but it soon turned to some rather irrelevant topics just for the sake of keeping the argument going. It went from “LUHAN KEEP DREAMING BUT YOU’LL NEVER MARRY CRISTIANO RONALDO” to “YIFAN YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD SO SUCK IT,” and even “I’M GLAD YOU’RE ALL ADOPTED BECAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DIDN’T GET THIS IDIOCY FROM ME.” Yixing stayed mostly quiet, throwing in some brutal honesty when needed (or not needed) and smiled the whole time just enjoying the show.

-

Meanwhile, Junmyeon was thinking about the sins he could have committed in his past lives to deserve this kind of torture.

Chanyeol still had his lanky arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders, pulling him close; close enough that the taller man’s booming voice began to give Junmyeon a headache. He was truly concerned for his wellbeing for the rest of the year and if migraines would soon become a daily occurrence for him. There was always a possibility that he could switch dorms, but what if he got stuck with someone worse? Like someone who hoards trash or would rather Junmyeon dead? And at least these fellows seem to be nice, although a little bit… off.

“… so I was completely DEVISTATED when I learned that I couldn’t bring my ferrets!! UNBELIEVEABLE!! Ferrets are the best creatures. They make no noise and they don’t take up much space so I really don’t see the problem!! Hey, hyung, are you listening??”

“Y-yeah, Chanyeol, I’m still listening. Ferrets, you can’t have them.”

“It’s outrageous, isn’t it?? I mean they let people have rinky-dinky little fish and yet I can’t have the cutest pets in the universe. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WOR--”

“YEOL!! Quiet down I’m sure you’re giving the guy a massive headache.” Junmyeon thanked Sehun in his head for stopping Chanyeol’s rant session. “But seriously, my Vivi is better than your ferrets and Jongin's poodles.”

Jongin, who had been mostly quiet up until then, finally spoke up. “SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME YOU NOODLE. JJANGU, MONGGU AND JJANGAH ARE BETTER THAN YOUR WHITE RAT AND YOUR WEIRDO FERRETS.” That was enough to get the three of them quarreling as they walked to their new residences. Chanyeol detached from Junmyeon to commence yelling and flailing his long limbs in anger. Sehun stood with his arms crossed and weight shifted to one foot and Jongin, for some reason, was holding onto his backpack like his life depended on it, while arguing with the other two. Finally, Junmyeon had enough.

“TIME OUT, ALL OF YOU!” Junmyeon yelled. They all got quiet and stared at their hyung with scared eyes. He pinched his nosebridge and shook his head. “Do you guys fight like this on a daily basis? Is this really what you want our college life to be like? A dysfunctional family? Or would you rather be the best dorm in all of Seoul Arts?” They all looked at the ground and collectively muttered out a “no” to being a dysfunctional family. He thought he heard a sniff from Jongin and Chanyeol and even spotted watering eyes from maknae Sehun. “Then how about this: you make up somehow, we get to our dorms, and I take some Aspirin and a nice, long nap in peace and quiet.”  
 

Chanyeol leaped forward to hug Junmyeon, nearly knocking the shorter man off of his feet. “HYUNG!!! WE’RE SORRY!!” Jongin and Sehun followed suit and soon Junmyeon was buried under a pile of tangled limbs and crying boys. Junmyeon finally led them all to the front door of dorm K – 01, still thinking about this group’s rather unique dynamics and defensive fascination with their pets. He also felt like he just started parenting and if this was really what it’s like, he surely understood where his mother got all of her wrinkles and grey hair from.

As soon as they stepped inside of their dorm, a rich and mouth-watering smell hit their noses. They all stumbled forward and let the smell lead them to the source. Standing in the kitchen area was a rather short boy with jet black hair. The boy turned around and they are met with a heart shaped smile and wide eyes that gave an intense glaze. Junmyeon waved and introduced himself, Sehun followed, and then Chanyeol who stated his name and runs over to the boy to get a closer sniff at what he’s cooking. Only Jongin remained silent until Sehun elbowed him in the ribs. He said his name quietly and asked if he can help with the food preparation. The boy, named Kyungsoo, agreed with a smile.

Kyungsoo gladly took on Jongin as an apprentice and explained everything he did and about safety with knives and the stove. Chanyeol, although he was rather clumsy, actually proved to be an okay chef and helped to make the red sauce for the spaghetti, while his friend was busy flirting his ass off with Kyungsoo. Sehun came over just to taste test once in a while and act as third wheel to Kyungsoo and Jongin. Junmyeon went to one of the rooms to lay down in the dark and repent for his sins, hoping for something better. As evening neared, Kyungsoo sent Jongin to slip a note under the conjoining room’s bathroom door to invite them over for the dinner at 7:00 PM.

What lovely harmony.

-

Minseok really was a rather reserved and quiet person by nature. Now, he didn’t know if it’s the odd couple he met on the train or his sense of adventure for college life, but he suddenly felt more open to making friends. He came off the train feeling like he had known Jongdae and Baekhyun all of his life. It was extremely relaxing to have conversation start up so naturally. Minseok also found it quite a stroke of luck that the charismatic person that fell onto his lap happened to be his new dorm mate, and the guy’s friend was their neighbor. The awkward start made for a real icebreaker. Maybe college wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Both Jongdae and Baekhyun had quite a shock when they found out Minseok was actually their hyung. His childlike expressions and small frame didn’t help his case. Minseok did tell them that he was a bit old to be a first year at the school since he was a transfer student from a small college near his hometown. He studied accounting for a couple years before he thought if he saw another number again his mind would burst. That was how he decided to start new at Seoul Arts and follow his dream. Jongdae and Baekhyun were both enrolled as singing and vocal technique majors in the hopes of being able to debut as idols someday. They asked Minseok which department he was part of and he just shrugged.

“I’m enrolled as undecided right now… I’ve never really studied music all that much and I just don’t know where I’d fit in yet. So I’m just taking a bunch of different classes and see where I end up.” He looked down with a sad smile. “I’m not outgoing enough to be a performer, so I really don’t know what I’ll do. I just know it has to be something with music.” He stayed quiet as they made their way up the dormitory’s steps. Baekhyun had an arm around his shoulder.

They stopped in front of the two dorm’s doors and Jongdae looked Minseok in the eyes. “Hyung, I think it’s okay not to know yet. That’s what college is about. Maybe you’re multi-talented. I mean I can’t rap for my life.”

“Yeah and he can’t dance either,” Baekhyun added. Jongdae playfully hit his arm. “But what we mean is that you could be good at anything and everything, as long as your passion is there. As our first new friend, we’ll always have your back.” Minseok smiled and already felt thankful for the people he was meeting.

Before Baekhyun broke off to his own dorm, he handed them a box full of “Grandma Byun’s Magic Buns.” Excellent comfort food he said. Could possibly quell a nuclear war with China. Baekhyun slipped inside K – 01 and Jongdae and Minseok prepared to greet their new dorm mates. They both took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. As the door opened wider and wider, the sound of yelling grew stronger and stronger. They shared a glance and stepped into the warzone.

-

The first thing that hit Jongdae and Minseok’s eardrums was the sound of bickering voices coming from further inside the small apartment. They looked at each other with worried expressions and slowly advanced further to see what all of the commotion was about. As they stepped closer, they realized they could not understand a word that was being said; for it was all in Chinese.

Once they reached the common room, they spotted four boys. Three were up in each other’s’ faces, and one was sitting down but still yelling a few comments from time to time. All of their movements seemed rather exaggerated and comical; like a family of brothers from some drama. Minseok couldn’t help but stare in amusement.

Finally, Jongdae nudged Minseok in the side. “Hey, as much as I’d like to watch this little show they’re putting on, don’t you think we should say something?”

“You’re right. I’d certainly like some peace when I go to bed tonight.” Minseok thought for a moment and stepped forward slightly, clearing his throat. He tried to recall his knowledge from that “Chinese for Dummies” book he had purchased ages ago in high school. “E-excuse me? Hello? We… we are your new roommates… Hello?” Minseok said quietly, using his best and most polite Chinese. However, no one seemed to hear him. If they did, they didn’t care enough to pause their quarreling.

Jongdae tapped Minseok on the shoulder and winked. “Don’t worry. I got this.” He, too, tried to remember everything he had learned in his “Chinese for Dummies” book from years before. “HEEEYYY!! LISTEN!! EVERYBODY, STOP!!” He shouted at the top of his lungs in accented Chinese. Finally, the four got quiet and turned to stare blankly at the newcomers. Jongdae was slightly panicking because he suddenly blanked out on Chinese phrases, other than “where’s the bathroom” and “I need emergency assistance.” He did end up remembering one word and hoped the plan would work.

“F-food,” he said, and pointed to the box of “Grandma Byun’s Magic Buns” in Minseok’s hands. Minseok got the message and quickly opened the box to reveal the small, perfectly made meat buns. The air was suddenly filled with an enticing and savory aroma, and to Jongdae and Minseok’s surprise, the four men’s expressions seemed to soften as they inched closer and stared at the box of food. One boy in particular caught Minseok’s attention. It seemed like the boy was staring at him more than the buns, but he brushed it off as just his imagination.

The four almost seemed hypnotized as they made their way over slowly without making a sound. As soon as they took their first bites of the soft buns, their faces lit up and their eyes went wide. The tallest of the four took the box from Minseok’s hands and carried it over to the coffee table in the middle of the sitting area. The other three followed obediently as they all sat down and ate. Minseok and Jongdae couldn’t help but look at each other in bewilderment as they also made their way over to the sitting area in silence.

It was quiet for a while except for the sounds of chewing. After many moments of completely still air, Minseok felt eyes on him again, and immediately turned to the one boy he thought was staring at him before. Now, he was absolutely sure that the boy was looking directly at him. He didn’t turn away when Minseok caught his large, brown, sparkling eyes that stared with the intensity of looking at a specimen underneath a microscope. The Chinese boy had rather long, black, wavy and messy hair with a fringe that swept across his forehead. He had a lean build and rather beautiful androgynous features, while still retaining a strong and boyish presence. Minseok only realized how long they had been staring at each other when the odd boy finally broke the silence.

“Baozi…” the boy said quietly; his gaze never leaving Minseok. The others turned to look.

“W-what?” Minseok stuttered in Chinese. The boy responded at first in Mandarin, but after seeing the confusion on Minseok’s face, switched to near perfect Korean.

“Ah. I said ‘baozi.’ I think that your face looks like a baozi. Like these meat buns… soft… round… pale… cute…” The boy’s voice trailed off at the end and a dreamy expression crossed his face.

Neither of them broke the long gaze until they heard faint giggles from the peanut gallery. Minseok blushed, averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

“S-so…” Minseok began in Korean to change the subject. “Can everyone understand me? Can everyone speak Korean?”

Luhan sat up right away and eagerly sputtered out “IcanunderstandjustfineI’vebeenstudyingKoreanforawhiledon’tworryaboutmeI’mgoodI’mgood.”

“I’ve also been studying it for a while so I’m fine,” Yifan chimed in.

Zitao gave a thumbs up. Yixing kept smiling but made no indication either way, until Yifan snapped his fingers in front of his face. He jumped slightly.

“Oh! I can…” Yixing spoke slowly in Korean. “I can understand mold.”

“Mold?” Jongdae said with a giggle.

“I think he means most,” Yifan said. Yixing nodded and Jongdae couldn’t help but imagine the dimpled boy whispering to a moldy jar of mayonnaise. He laughed at his visual.

“So, it seems like for the most part we can understand each other. That’s a good start,” Minseok stated. “Um, I was just wondering… what were you all fighting over anyway?” They all stopped chewing and looked at the floor as they began mumbling all at once.

“Well I uh…”

“We…”

“He…”

“Can’t seem to remember now…”

“Sorry about…”

“It wasn’t really anything…”

“Uhhhhhhh…”

“… You know what, let’s… let’s move on,” Minseok said apprehensively. “Why don’t we just begin with some introductions. My name is Kim Minseok. I’m a transfer student and my major is undecided.” He looked around to make sure everyone was following along. “Jongdae, how about you go next??”

Jongdae stood up eagerly. “Hi! I’m Kim Jongdae but I’m not related to Kim Minseok. I’m also a transfer student and I’m majoring in singing and vocal technique!!” He waved at the others excitedly, who gave him a slight wave back. “So, uh, who’s next?” The boy that had been staring at Minseok stood and waved nervously as everyone, but mostly Minseok.

“H-hi. I’m Luhan. Um, I transferred here from a college in Beijing. I also plan to major in singing but also dancing and acting. I also really enjoy soccer.” He smiled and sat down. Yifan was the next to stand.

“Uh, hello. I’m Wu Yifan, your dorm RA. I was in Canada before this, so I can also speak Engligh, but I mainly grew up in Guangzhou and speak Mandarin and Cantonese. Uh, I’m interested in rap and acting… Uh… Zitao? You next?” The boy with bleached blonde hair and dark eye bags reluctantly stood up, still munching on a bun. He began talking with his mouth half full.

“Mn Huang Uhtao. Mnd I moly ike,” he paused and swallowed. “rap. I also like modeling and acting and Gucci.” He sat back down and crossed his legs while reaching for another bun. Luhan noticed and swatted his hand away.

Lastly, Yixing got to his feet.

“Hello, everyone,” he started in Chinese, and then continued in Korean. “I’m Zhang Yixing. I am double majoring in dance and composing.” Everyone let out a “woah,” acknowledging the amount of effort and time double majoring required. “I also hope you all appreciate my unicorn shirt because I bedazzled it myself.” Jongdae started clapping and the rest eventually followed along. Yixing gave them a proud smile. As Yixing sat down, they noticed a small piece of paper slide under the door of their conjoining bathroom. Luhan got up to retrieve the paper and began to read what it said. His reading ability was a little less proficient than speaking, so he went slowly.

“Dear neighbors,” he read. “We would like to invite you to join us for dinner at 7:00 PM in hopes to get to know you all. Right now, we are preparing something we hope you will all enjoy, and we hope that you will accept our offer and that we will see you later tonight. From Do Kyungsoo and the rest of Dorm K – 01.”

“Let’s go!!” Zitao said right away. Yixing nodded quickly in agreement.

“Ah, look at that. Food bringing people together once more,” Jongdae said with a laugh. Yifan chuckled too at his comment.

“Mingsok, do you think we should go?” Luhan asked. Minseok looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression, but ignored the slight mispronunciation.

“Definitely. I think this will be an excellent opportunity to become acquainted with the others. Especially if we have to share a bathroom. What do you say, Mr. RA?”

“I agree. Let’s go for it.” Yifan stood to his full height. “Okay, guys, clean up, Luhan take a shower you smell like an armpit, wear something respectable, Yixing wear a hat to cover up that bump on your head, and try to keep the bickering to a minimum. We gotta make a good impression and I can’t have the other RA thinking I’m totally irresponsible. Let’s make it happen!” They all smiled and got up to get ready. Everyone was anxious to see what the others were like on the other side of the bathroom door.

-

As soon as Baekhyun stepped inside, he could smell the familiar scent of home-cooked food wafting through the hallway. He followed his nose and eventually spotted four boys standing around in the kitchen. He went over right away and greeted each one excitedly, exchanging names and general information. They told him that their dorm’s RA was asleep already due to a killer migraine.

Eventually, Baekhyun was given small tasks to help with the food preparation. He was in charge of one of the simplest tasks: boiling the water for the pasta. However, he was having some… technical difficulties.

“God!! Why won’t this boil? I’ve been staring at it for, like, ten minutes!!”

“Did you turn the stove on?” Chanyeol asked.

“Yes, you tall-ass oaf! Of course I did! I’m not an idiot!”

“Yeah, but the front burner is on when you’re using the back burner.”

Baekhyun stared back and forth from Chanyeol to the stove with his mouth hanging slightly open. He eventually let out a frustrated grunt and turned on his heel with annoyance to fix the stove. As he was fumbling with the controls, something pulled at his ankle and caused him to trip backwards, knocking into Chanyeol, who ended up spilling tomato all over his jeans.

“Hey, what was that for?! I was just advising you!!” Chanyeol exclaimed.

“You tripped me!! Just now!! Advising my ASS!!”

“WhAT?? I DID NOT. YOU BUMPED INTO ME AND RUINED MY PANTS!!” Chanyeol took a tomato and threw it at Baekhyun’s face. Fuming, Baekhyun screamed and grabbed a pile of grated cheese to pelt at Chanyeol, who ducked, and the cheese ended up hitting Kyungsoo. Jongin turned and squirted tomato paste at Chanyeol and Baekhyun, when Junmyeon came through the doorway, yawning and stretching, only to be sprayed in the face with tomato. From there on was a full-scale food fight. The once pristine kitchen was dyed red. With tomato.

This continued until loud barking cut through the yells and battle-cries. They all turned to the sitting area where a brown poodle was up on a chair, wagging its tail.

“MONGGU!!!!” Jongin screeched as he ran over to the dog and hugged it, covering it with the red sauce. Everyone stared with confusion. The dog had a ripped piece of denim in its mouth and Baekhyun’s face lit up at the sight.

“That’s from the bottom of my jeans!! That dog tripped me?? Not Chaneyol…”

“See I TOLD YOU!!”

“HOLD ON LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,” Junmyeon yelled. “THIS DOG WAS THE CAUSE OF THIS MESS???” Kyungsoo let out a choked sob as he looked around at the dirtied kitchen. “JONGIN, EXPLAIN.”

“I… uh… this is a dog, you see. And… I…”

Just then, there was a knock on the other side of the bathroom door. They all groaned. “C-come in,” Junmyeon called nervously.

The door opened and six boys filtered in. Their jaws dropped at the sight of the splatters of red everywhere.

“Looks like a bloodbath,” Jongdae whispered to Minseok. “Seems like they had more problems than we did.” The six newcomers looked around at the pieces of tomato on the walls. Cheese on the floor and pasta strung over a lamp. There was also the questionable boy holding a dog in his arms.

“Welcome!! It seems that there will be a change of plans because someone,” Junmyeon glared at Jongin, who gave a shy smile. “and some other people’s hot tempers,” he looked as Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who stared at the ground. “ruined our dinner preparations.”

“That’s quite alright,” Yifan said laughing. He was just glad he looked like the better RA in that moment. “Let’s just order pizza.”

“Hey can we get chicken wings too??”

“SHUT UP, JONGIN.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more basis for their characters:  
> \- Chanyeol did have ferrets  
> \- Baek and Chen were at the same audition for SM Entertainment and Baek remembers hearing Chen's audition and thinking "he'll definitely get in." And they've been best friends since trainee days.  
> \- During trainee days, rumour has it that Minseok complained of one of the Chinese trainees always staring at him, which we can only guess is our roe deer. Luhan also used to pronounce his name as Mingsok and would always have to be corrected  
> \- Baekhyun was on a cooking show once and failed to boil the water


	3. Hello, Hello (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT  
> I became unexpectedly busy in the past few months and very devoid of inspiration. This chapter is kind of dull but I hope you enjoy it anyway. As always, let me know in the comments what you think and if there's anything you want me to include in the next chapters. Thanks for reading and being so patient!!

There they were.

Twelve boys.

Six boxes of pizza.

One box of fried chicken.

Six toilet stalls.

Three showers.

Four sinks.

Two dorms filtering into a single bathroom.

They are one.

They shared oneness though basking in the awkward silence that fell upon them once their food came, and they began to eat. They are one, sharing in the cold of the linoleum bathroom floor seeping through to their bottoms as they sat, uncomfortably avoiding each other’s eye contact. They are one, sharing in the consequence of their self-inflicted chaos: the lack of unity in both dorms serving as the only thing that made each side similar. For now.

And so they sat in their conjoined bathroom in total silence as they ate their pizza and one ate his chicken. He was unwilling to share his chicken.

Let’s start with him, then. Chicken Mania sat in the far corner beneath a sink. He flinched every time he heard the faucet above him drip. He sat slouched over eating his chicken with a sullen expression on his face. With a wing in one hand, he caressed a brown fluffy dog with the other. The dog reached for chicken every so often from its owner who was specifically instructed not to feed the dog the greasy food, because a certain dorm RA had clearly said “bitch do you think I’m cleaning up after that dog if it barfs think again.” The dog’s forlorn expression matched its owner’s.

Moving on to Noodle. This young man felt the need to shift sitting positions quite often. He couldn’t seem to keep his long limbs in the same spot for a long period of time. The hard floor felt uncomfortable against his bony legs, and even his shapely bottom could not provide enough padding. To go along with Noodle’s thin physique, he had only eaten half a slice of pizza. Little did everyone know that he’d be hungry again every hour on the hour, eating only little bits at a time, but refuse to even touch his original slice because “hyyuuuunnnngggggg nooooooo I can’t eat that it got all cold and gross and it’s not the same if you microwave it because it’ll get too soggy and I don’t like soggy pizza and it’s mostly crust now anyway and I don’t like the crust and Jongin won’t share his chicken and even if he did I don’t know how to eat it off the bone it’s just too difficult and messy but I’m still hungry hyyyyuuuunnnnnngggggg are you listening I want bubble tea tooooooo hhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.”

Next to him, staring at Noodle’s uneaten pizza, was Dumb. And staring at Dumb, was Dumber. Dumb stared intently at the pizza, which was kept just out of reach from his long arms. His eyebrows were furrowed and all he could think about was that slice of pizza (which was really something because he often finds it hard to concentrate). As Dumb bored invisible holes in Noodle’s pizza, Dumber spotted a tomato stain right on the crotch of Dumb’s pants that he attained during the Great Food War. Dumber contemplated telling Dumb, but decided against it because he didn’t want to seem like a total creep. Plus, they were still enemies. After a few minutes, Dumber didn’t realize how close he had gotten to Dumb, until Dumb turned around and their foreheads knocked with a bang. They both took a minute to glare at each other for a second and go back to eating their pizza with a certain tension in the air.

Sitting with no real expression on his face was Creepy Pasta. His eyes were wide open and it looked like a part of him died inside. Where was he staring? What was he staring at? His unfocused gaze was hard to read and everyone tried their best to avoid glancing his way, for fear that he would suck in their souls. He was frozen, like a computer that had been overworked. Too many windows were open and each one was open to a word document with the title “R.I.P. my fuckin pasta.” In a separate window, YouTube played the horrible meme recorder version of “My Heart Will Go On.” Unfortunately, part of the glitch was that this track was stuck on repeat.

On the other side of the bathroom sat Steamy Bun and right next to him, sitting a little too close, was Hornyhan. The expression on Steamy Bun’s face became less “help me a little kid is attacking me” and more “but why is a little kid attacking me.” In the beginning, Hornyhan tried his very best to explain himself and his rather affectionate tendencies and at least talk to Steamy Bun like a normal human being, but his Korean failed him each time, earning questioning looks. Eventually, Hornyhan gave up and just attached himself to Steamy Bun’s side, while trying to poke Steamy Bun’s hamster-like cheeks as he chewed his food. Hornyhan leaned onto Steamy Bun’s well-toned shoulder. Very, very well-toned, Honryhan noted. Hot daaammnn… Hey, they didn’t get these nicknames for nothing, you know…

Sitting beside them, Gucci Panda had already gone through four slices of pizza, and working on a 5th. He was also trying to discretely take selcas on his phone, but kept getting frustrated because the lighting in the bathroom was way too dim. He was muttering to himself in Chinese, attracting the attention of Loud. Loud was getting impatient with the silence and began to tap a beat with his foot at a rapid pace. He tried desperately to make eye contact with the others, but everyone ignored him. Loud also tried to photobomb some of Gucci Panda’s selcas, only to be shoved away. He began sighing loudly and going “uuuugggghhhhhhhhh” every few seconds. Gucci Panda decided to record him to post to Instagram. The caption read: “does he have an off button?”

Meanwhile, Tired was still sitting up straight, only, his eyes were closed. There was a partially eaten pizza slice in his right hand. Every few moments his eyes would flutter open, and seeing everybody remaining in the same position, he went back to sleep. Most of them really forgot he was there. He forgot that most of them were there. Fair enough.

Lastly, we have Mom and Dad. Both of them in particular tried to avoid each other’s gazes. Mom was still steaming over what had happened in the kitchen and what a disaster it was. To add to it, he was still completely embarrassed coming off as such an irresponsible dorm RA. And Dad had the nerve to LAUGH and proudly say, “boys, at least we aren’t this bad,” right in front of Mom’s face. However, the entire reason all twelve couldn’t squeeze into Dad’s dorm when Mom’s dorm failed, was because instead of unpacking like they had planned, they sat around and played video games all afternoon. The apartment was even more of a mess than it had been before, because man, six boys going nuts over video games without actual parental supervision… messy. Shit is going to get thrown (along with enough shade for the dankest, darkest alley in Seoul). Each time Mom and Dad reached for a pizza slice at the same time, their fingertips brushed and they both pulled back like they had just touched lava.

As you can see, they weren’t exactly hitting it off. It would take someone brave, bold, courageous, and heroic god to break this amazingly disastrous—

“OH, GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT,” Jongdae yelled, scrunching up his face in disgust, fanning the air in front of him. 

“Dae, what is it?” Baekhyun asked.

“It smells awful. Something awful just hit me in the face.”

“Dae, we’re eating in a bathroom what exactly do you expect? Did you just realize this now?” Minseok shot back, giving him an annoyed look. His clean freak tendencies already made him want to throw up at the thought of eating on the bathroom floor. He really didn’t need a reminder.

“No, no, I know. But I think someone farted. A silent but deadly.”

“What, I don’t smell a—“ Baekhyun’s face distorted with disgust. “IT JUST HIT ME.” Soon, the rest of them could smell the stench. Holding his nose, Baekhyun turned to Jongdae and said with a nasally voice, “Whoever smelt it, dealt it.”

“AAHHH WAAAEEEE!!! Shut up, Baek!! What you just said!! Obviously something someone would say if they were the one that just did iiiiit!!!” Baekhyun gasped with his hand on his chest, appalled. They started yelling at each other (still holding their noses), with the rest of the people in the room staring and still holding their noses. A soft but deep voice eventually spoke up.

“Guys, shut up. It was me.”

Everyone turned to the lanky boy with thick brows. His arms were crossed and he looked annoyed as hell. He shrugged casually. “What? I don’t hold in my farts. That’s all. I don’t want to explode. Because that could happen, you know? Whales explode from having too much gas. This face is too pretty for the world to lose. Plus, you should all be glad that you get to experience firsthand the perfume essence of The Oh Sehun.” He scoffed and shook his head as eleven pairs of eyes stared him down with their mouths hanging open. Finally, Junmyeon coughed and broke the silence.

“… I… I guess your name is Oh Sehun, then… Why don’t we do some more introductions while we’re at it? B-but the uh… ahem—a sampling of personal scent is not required,” Junmyeon tried. Everyone nodded their heads. Chanyeol sat up and raised his hand high.

“I WANNA GO FIRST!!”

“Go ahead,” Junmyeon gestured to him.

“HI I AM PARK CHANYEOL AND I LIKE RAPPING AND DOGS. I LIKE DOGS. AND MY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD ARE SEHUN AND THAT KID OVER THERE HE’S JONGIN AND I ALSO IN COLLEGE I WANT TO TRY NEW THINGS THAT ARE REALLY WILD. LIKE EVEN BORDERLINE ILLEGAL BUT ONLY BORDERLINE!!! NOT ILLEGAL. FOR INSTANCE I WANNA—“

“GOD WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD,” Baekhyun yelled.

“WHY AM I SO LOUD? YOU’RE YELLING AT ME.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YELLING WE’RE INSIDE USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE.”

“HOW ABOUT YOU—“

“ALRIGHT. Alright. I can see we are VERY passionate but can we please just at least get through intros? Chanyeol, so very nice to meet you, let’s move on to your friend, Jongin,” Junmyeon said, straining not to sound too much like he was about to erupt in a fit of rage.

Jongin sat up and held his dog tighter. “I am Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you. This is my dog, Monggu. Monggu is my real best friend, as well as the other two dogs I have at home. I don’t need Chanyeol.” To this, Chanyeol pouts. “I’m also a dance major.”

“Jongin, I’m pretty sure dogs aren’t allowed here,” Junmyeon said with a sigh. “We have to—“

Moggu starts growling at Junmyeon.

“OKAY moving on. Loudmouth number two, what about you?”

“WHO ME?” Baekhyun asks. Junmyeon closes his eyes, rubs his temples and nods.

“HI I am BYUN BAEKHYUN. SINGING MAJOR in da HOUSE. WOOO. COME ON COME ON.” Only Jongdae raises his arms in the air and cheers him on.

Junmyeon sighs and turns to the small quiet boy whose pasta they ruined. 

“And how about y-“

“I’m Kyungsoo. I sing and act. That’s it.” Kyungsoo shot them all a glare and went on muttering about wasting food. Afterward, M – 00 introduced themselves. Jongdae ended up asking the question that was burning on everyone’s mind.

“Hey, Yixing?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you so tired? The plane ride from China to Korea isn’t too long.”

“Oh, well you see, I pulled an all-nighter so I could pack for the trip and the reason I couldn’t pack sooner was because I volunteered at a local hospital to teach kids how to play and read music and before that I was helping my sick grandmother. Oh and right before that I had two performances for a nonprofit fundraiser festival in my town. And then the day before that I-“

“Holy crap you’re busy,” Jongdae said with disbelief. “And a fucking saint.”

“I feel like if he was a superhero he’d have healing powers,” said Junmyeon.

“If Chanyeol had superpowers it would be fire because he’s such a freaking hothead,” Baekhyun muttered. 

“Baekhyun would have the power of light so he could blind people so they wouldn’t have to look at his ugly face anymore,” Chanyeol countered. 

“I’m pretty sure you mean I’d blind people with my BEAUTY.”

“Sehun would have the power of wind,” Luhan giggled and fanned the air. Everyone’s face scrunched up at the memory of that smell. “What about you guys? Mingseok, Jongdai, Junmien? Jingin?”

“Wait, wait, wait, before that, maybe we should establish some easier names to pronounce for all of us, just for the time being,” Junmyeon offered after a moment of silence and a few laughs. 

“I VOUCH THAT YIFAN IS KRIS FROM NOW ON,” Baekhyun yelled. 

“What? Why?” Yifan asked.

“Because Kris is like, really American right? And you’re from America?”

“Canada.”

“Yeah whatever, same difference. Plus you have that cold guy vibe. And Kris is all cool and swaggy, you know? All the coolest guys are named Kris.”

“Hm… I guess you’re right.” Kris sat up a bit straighter.

“Oh! I’m swaggy too, right?” Zitao said, perking up. “Call me Swaggy T.”

“… we’ll just call you Tao,” Baekhyun said. Tao pouted and Baekhyun patted his knee for comfort.

“I’ll call you Swaggy T,” Sehun spoke up. Tao gave a hopeful smile. “IF you get me bubble tea and call me hyung.” Tao nodded excitedly.

“Let’s call him Xiumin,” Luhan said, poking the boy next to him. 

“Why Xiumin?” Junmyeon wondered.

“Xiu… means… beautifulinChinese…” Luhan mumbled. Xiumin reddened.

“… moving on… what about sleepy over there?” Junmyeon asked.

“We can call him Lay. It looks like he needs to lay down for a nap right now,” said Chanyeol. As if on cue, Lay’s head dipped on to Jongdae’s shoulder. 

“And like, Jongin gives me that cool Japanese band member vibe. Like with that soft face but sexy figure.” Baekhyun wigged his eyebrows. “Let’s call him Kai. Generic Jpop guy name. Visual Kei. So cool, so edgy.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Jongin asked.

“No,” Baekhyun deadpanned. “Oh, and how about we just call Jongdae, Chen?”

“Why ‘Chen,’ Baekhyun?”

“I dunno he kinda looks Chinese anyway and he’s gotta fit in with that Chinese atmosphere in M – 00, ya know? He’s practically Chinese now, right?” They all shrug. “And uh, Junmyeon, dorm RA, you can be Suho! Guardian.”

“Why don’t I get that title? I’m clearly the more responsible RA,” Kris complained.

“UHMM, DEBATABLE. THIS CHILD SAYS I’M THE GUARDIAN, SO I’M THE GUARDIAN.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHO LET A FULL SCALE FOOD FIGHT HAPPEN ON DAY ONE. LIKE, NOT ON MY WATCH WOULD I LET THESE HOOLIGANS HAVE A FOOD FIGHT,” Kris countered. Said “hooligans” looked kind of hurt.

“YOU-YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A WATCH,” Suho screamed. “YOUR POINT IS INVALID.”

They both stood up and got closer to each other, scowls painted on their faces. 

“You know what,” Xiumin said, getting up and pulling Kris away by the ear.

“Let’s just get some rest,” Kyungsoo said through a sigh as he pulled Suho away from the other RA. Kyungsoo had had quite enough of everyone’s antics for the day, and gathered enough strength just to see it through that he could get some peace and quiet for the first night.

The members of each dorm stalked off to their respective sides. Both RAs pointed at each other as if to say “I’m watching you,” as they literally got dragged away. The last two to exit were Tao and Sehun. 

“Yo! Swaggy T, tomorrow morning, 8:00 am, meet me in the lobby for bubble tea,” Sehun whispered.

“Yes, hyung!”

“SEHUN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE,” Suho yelled.

“ZITAO STOP TALKING TO THE ENEMY!” Kris shouted in Chinese.

They both retreated and gave each other a small wave and a smile before closing each of the bathroom doors.


	4. Juliet (Part 1)

“Hey… hey you!” Zitao froze. “Yeah, you.” He turned to Yifan with his eyes bulging. “I’ll kill you and eat you for breakfast.” Zitao dropped to his knees in a panic and frantically bowed as low as he possibly could.

 

“GE I’M SORRY DON’T KILL ME PLEASE IT’S NOT MY FAULT IT WAS SEHUN FROM NEXT DOOR. HE-HE SEDUCED ME!! HE CALLED ME SWAGGY AND I JUST COULDN’T RESIST. THAT TURNED ME ON. GE GE I SWEAR I WON’T EVEN TASTE GOOD BECAUSE I STARTED GOING VEGAN LIKE… THIS MORNING SO I’D JUST TASTE LIKE BROCCOLI AND-“

 

“Just… just put my artwork in your gallery and it’ll be all cool, Mr. Dragon Man.”

 

Zitao stopped babbling and looked up at Yifan with confusion. Yifan’s eyes were still closed and half of his face was still squashed into his pillow. He let out a long snore. Zitao reluctantly stood up and walked slowly over to Yifan’s bed.

 

“Ge, are you awake?”

 

“…Zitao, not now… Mr. Dragon Man is about to hang my artwork in his gallery…” Yifan then started mumbling in a mix of Mandarin, Cantonese, English and Korean. Zitao breathed a sigh of relief and pulled the covers up on his sleep-talking roommate. Still, Zitao had to tip-toe out of the room and hope that the creaking of the door wouldn’t wake anyone up. He couldn’t risk being seen out so early by anyone, or else they could rat him out and tell Yifan about his little excursion to meet Sehun for bubble tea. As things currently stood, it seemed like the dorms weren’t exactly “hitting it off” together. At least, not between the dorm RAs.

 

Zitao was still shaking as he made it down the hallway. He tried to be a stealth ninja, doing a few rolls that he learned during his wushu training. He imagined the Mission Impossible theme playing in the background as he snuck around. Unfortunately, he was out of practice and ended up skidding across the wooden floor, and landed face first in… Spongebob? He picked the garment off of his face, recognized it as underpants, and flung it across the room in disgust. They still hadn’t unpacked a majority of their belongings, so everything was still in messy piles all over the apartment.

 

Zitao finally made it to the door. He took one last look at the quiet apartment and smiled proudly, feeling accomplished that he made it without being detected. It was a feat that only Swaggy T himself could take on. He opened the door and stepped outside-

 

“Oh, Tao! Take a jacket maybe you might get cold. Come on, grabbing a jacket won’t make you late for Sehun.”

 

Zitao slammed his head against the doorframe. He looked up and saw his tiny ge standing in the kitchen with a cup of fresh coffee and a smug look on his face. Zitao slouched and stomped back in to the apartment, rummaging around in one of the piles for a jacket. He quickly picked up a leather jacket from the top, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. He shoved it in his Gucci bag. Before he left, Xiumin called out to him.

 

“Tao, don’t worry. I won’t tell Kris,” Xiumin said, smiling.

 

“Um… thanks… how much… of… _that_ , did you see?”

 

“All of it.”

 

“Even the…”

 

“Yes I saw you land face first into those Spongebob underpants.”

 

“…cool… And you really won’t tell Kris?”

 

“Well… for a price.” Tao groaned. He always seemed to be in debt to people. “Keep it in mind.” Xiumin winked, taking a sip of his hot, bitter coffee.

 

-

 

“Swaggy T! You made it.”

 

“Yeah, it was a little rough getting out without anyone noticing… but I did it. It’s all cool. Not a single soul knows. Ha…”

 

“Ahh yeah… same… same with me.”

 

“Sehun, what’s with that Band-Aid on your forehead?”

 

“Uh… you know… Kai’s dog…”

 

-

 

Sehun crept out of this room, nervously looking around. It appeared that no one else was awake yet, including his roommate, Jongin. He knew that Jongin could pretty much sleep through an earthquake, and even worse than that, Chanyeol trying to sing along to Justin Bieber songs at three in the morning when they had sleepovers. However, he still had to be careful not to wake the rest of the people in his dorm. If word got out to Junmyeon that he was sneaking out to meet with Tao, or "Swaggy T" from M - 00, Junmyeon would surely beat him to a pulp and give to Kyungsoo to cook for dinner that night. Sehun was called a noodle since puberty really kicked in and gave him a growth spirt, leaving his already lean, muscle-less limbs to elongate like uncooked pasta. Although he was aware of this nickname, he didn't want to live up to it completely by making up for the lost pasta dinner the night before…

 

Sehun tip-toed around the apartment gathering his things when his phone fell out of his pocket, creating a loud thud as it hit against the wooden floor. He cringed at himself and closed his eyes tightly, not moving a muscle. Just as he thought he was in the clear and slowly bent down to pick up his phone, he heard a door creak open. He froze, panicked. _Maybe if I don't move they won't see me? That works on dinosaurs, right…?_

 

"OH! SEHUN IT'S YOU!" Chanyeol said loudly as he emerged from his shared room with Kyungsoo. He yawned loudly and stretched his oversized limbs. "You okay, Sehun? You look pale… Sehun… SEHUN??"

 

"W-wh… hi, Chan…"

 

"It's a lovely day! I slept SOOO WELL! Wow, Sehun, you must be excited to explore the campus! You're already dressed and ready to leave and-"

 

 _"Chanyeol can you keep it down!"_ Sehun hissed in a whisper. Chanyeol's expression turned more serious as he crouched down and leaned closer to Sehun, whispering back in his ear.

 

"Why?"

 

"Well…" Sehun said, choosing his words slowly. "I know we're both just so, _so_ excited to get out there but we have to keep it down or else the others will feel burdened by the noise and have no choice but to wake up. And um… they could really use their beauty sleep. Unlike us, of course." Sehun tried to force a smile. Chanyeol, never the wiser, bought his explanation and nodded quickly.

 

"Oh yes! Of course. I didn't think about that." Just then, Kyungsoo emerged from his room, a glare already on his face.

 

"Chanyeol! Maknae!" Chanyeol and Sehun snapped their heads up to look at him. They were already trembling.

 

"Some people are trying to get some sleep so don't you think it's a bit rude to talk so loudly? Do you want Junmyeon, _the resident advisor,_ to wake up?" They shook their heads quickly. "Then I suggest you keep it down. Since I'm already awake, I'm going to start on breakfast. Junmyeon and I decided last night that we would all sit down for a nice breakfast since last night's dinner was ruined."

 

"Uh… actually, hyung, I was going to…"

 

"Where were you planning on running off to?" Kyungsoo sent him a cold stare.

 

"…nowhere, hyung." Kyungsoo smiled.

 

"That's what I thought."

 

Sehun glanced at his watch. It was still early. Only around 7:30 and his date… no, meeting, with Tao was at 8:00. He hoped that he would be done with this group breakfast thing quickly. He offered to Kyungsoo if he could help with any of the cooking to speed things up, but Kyungsoo flatly denied him.

 

So Sehun grumpily sat next to Chanyeol at the table, while Chanyeol rattled off about some odd dream that he had that night. Sehun barely listened as he played with his phone and checked the time constantly.

 

"So I had this dream……… all twelve of us…….. In these baggy, metallic pants……….That tall one next door could fly………. I………..phoenix and set Baekhyun's pants on fire…….. Sehun you………….. Wind out of your butt…………Jongin appeared in my room suddenly and he…………. But I was changing my clothes and I was butt naked. Sehun, are you listening?"

 

All Sehun could think of was possible ways of getting out of there. He doubted that he could make a run for it and not be seen, but maybe he could come up with some excuse. Last night, after getting yelled at for talking with Tao as they went their separate ways, Junmyeon lectured them all about not getting overly involved with the "weirdos next door, and especially the incredibly rude dorm RA." Junmyeon seemed to glance his way the most. No, there was no easy way out of there. Perhaps, though, he could bargain with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to keep his secret… Only if he played his cards well enough. He figured it was worth a try.

 

"…. Sehun? Why aren't you listening?"

 

"Because Sehun is a smart man," Kyungsoo shot back.

 

"Listen, guys, I need-"

 

"Oh, wow you guys are already awake!" Junmyeon said with a yawn as he emerged from his room. Baekhyun trailed after him, but upon smelling the food Kyungsoo was preparing, he ran right over into Kyungsoo's personal space. Sehun cursed internally. He checked the time again. It was 7:55. Sehun had had enough and decided he would just make a run for it and take whatever he had coming to him when he arrived home later.

 

He slowly picked up his backpack while the others were busy in conversation. However, Junmyeon noticed him moving out of the corner of his eye.

 

"Sehun? Where are you going?"

 

"…Huh? Me?"

 

"You're Sehun, right?"  
 

"I guess…."

 

"So where are you going? Because I really wanted to have a nice meal all together and please, don't be responsible for being the one to ruin it this time. You're not planning on seeing that boy from next door that you were speaking with last night, right?"  
  
"I.… " Sehun looked around frantically, grabbed his backpack and made a mad dash for the door. He looked behind him to see how mad Junmyeon was. It was a mistake because he wasn't watching where he was going and slammed face first into the door as he turned his head forward again. And, to top it off, Junmyeon was running toward him. Sehun quickly recovered, fighting off the dizziness in his head, and threw the door open as fast as he could. He slammed it shut as soon as he got outside and could still hear yelling from inside the apartment. He was breathing hard and could feel the sting of an open wound on top of his head. He grabbed a Band-Aid from his backpack and used his phone camera as a mirror to cover it up. He sighed and once his breathing recovered, he made his way down the stairs to the lobby.

 

-

 

"Hey, Swaggy T? What's wrong?" Sehun asked, taking a sip of his chocolate bubble tea.

 

"Nothing really, it's just that my jacket feels too small. Does leather shrink when you wash it?" Tao asked as he took the jacket off and placed it behind his chair.

 

"I don’t think it's supposed to."

 

"… wait."

 

-

 

"Hey, has anyone seen my leather jacket? I think I left it on top of some boxes yesterday when I didn't get a chance to hang it up."

 

"Oh, Luhan, did you check our closet? I hung a few things up last night," Yixing said sleepily over a mug of green tea.

 

"Yeah, I did. It's not there though."

 

"Mnwels'gone?" Kris mumbled into his orange juice with a sour look on his face.

 

"Kris, what the hell did you say?" Chen asked in amusement.

 

"I _said_ , you know what else is gone?"

 

"What?"

 

"Zitao."

 

"So what? He wanted to get some fresh air. Maybe he accidently took my jacket. He's the youngest but that doesn't mean we have to babysit him."

 

"Yeah, but I saw him talking to one of _HIS_ people last night…"

 

"Oh is THAT what this is about?" Chen said laughing.

 

"CHEN this is no laughing matter," Kris said sharply. Chen's face immediately fell as he shrunk back in his chair. "We're at war here. That pretentious RA next door thinks they're better than us and I bet that scrawny kid Zitao was talking to last night is trying to brainwash him as we speak! They always go for the youngest to pick off first." Kris took a sip of his juice and slammed it down on the table. Everyone jumped. Kris looked around the table, squinting his eyes. "They'll get you next, Chen."

 

"W-well, what are we supposed to do about it? Why are you so worried anyway?" Chen bravely asked after a long silence.

 

"I'm… listen, I'm just trying to protect the kid's innocence alright? You never know what kinds of ways that RA could use to bring Zitao over to their side."

 

"What kinds of ways, Yifan?" Lay wondered as he dropped sugar cubes into his tea.

 

"Uh…"

 

"Bad ways, Lay. I mean, there's food, money, Gucci, but ALSO-," Chen explained, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

"AND CHEN I DON'T NEED YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MIND CORRUPTING ANY OF OUR OWN, THANKS."

 

"Nah, I'd say only about 1% of my mind is 19+ thoughts? I mean, unless you count that class I took on bond-"

 

"ANYWAY. Does anyone have any clue where Zitao may have gone? Not one of you heard him??"

 

"He's your roommate," Luhan muttered.

 

"Luhan, as this dorm's advisor I have the right to send you to another dorm for talking back to me and for speaking to me in a rude matter, so unless-"

 

"Wow I feel so threatened," Luhan deadpanned as he rolled his eyes.

  
  
_"I can send you to another dorm where Xuimin is not."_ Kris whispered in Chinese.

 

"Haha nope, no idea where he went to! Sorry, man!" Kris gave him a long stare and finally turned back to the others as his phone rang. He picked up his phone quickly, although everyone around could already see that the caller ID said MOM in capital letters.

 

"Uh…. Excuse me I need to take this." He rushed to his room and shut the door.

 

They all sat and ate their cereal in silence. Eventually, Lay and Chen left for the bathroom to get washed up for the day. That left Luhan and Minseok in the kitchen alone.

 

"Soooo…. Xiumin…. How did you…. Was it…. Would you call your night of sleep satisfactory?" Luhan facepalmed himself internally.

 

"Luhan, can you pick up some coffee beans for me?" Xiumin said quickly, ignoring Luhan's question.

 

"O-oh. Um… yeah anything for you- I mean, because we're friends and only friends because I've only known you for one day and that would be weird if I felt anything more than that and really creepy and I'm not creepy at all and especially because we're both men and I'm totally not gay but I am gay because I'm happy! Totally happy to get those beans for you because you're as cute as a bean and-"

 

"…. Great…." Xiumin shot him a questioning stare, and Luhan just smiled widely in the silence. A little too widely. Like serial killer psycho path I'm about to slit your throat wide. Xiumin looked away, and continued quietly. "….Um yeah so anyway, just stop by that café right next to the campus. I think they also have bubble tea too."

 

"S-sure thing!" Luhan sent Xiumin finger guns and ran as fast as he could out the door. Once Luhan was gone, Minseok could breathe a sigh of relief. He had always hated being the complete center of attention and was able to find ways to stay more in the background. He was just fine being there, but with Luhan around to always stare at him or notice him, it felt like he was always the center of attention, even if it was to just one person. It was an odd feeling, especially with the stalker-ish tendencies Luhan seemed to have at times, but he couldn't quite bring himself to call it a bad feeling. It was only one day so far, not even, so he'd give it more time. Maybe Luhan would calm down just a bit after a few days.

 

Minseok also thought about Tao and Sehun, and how he didn't particularly care about whatever rivalry was going on between the dorm RAs. Kris and Suho were definitely two very different people with different leadership styles, but the passion for hating each other was present in both. That was for sure. In addition, Minseok hadn't technically broken his promise with Tao about not telling anyone. No, he just directed Luhan to the closest spot to campus where they sold coffee beans. He totally didn't do this just for personal amusement… That means that Tao would still owe him for something down the line. He smiled. One fun thing about being more of an observer (and an early riser) is that you really get to see everything at its best and worst. Your curiosity is almost always killed.

 

-

 

Luhan was a nervous wreck entering Ko Ko Café. He had never bought coffee beans for anyone before, and he himself was never a big fan of coffee. He just knew that Xiumin seemed very serious about it (he had been grumbling that morning about the cheap, instant crap that tasted like topsoil), and really didn't want to disappoint. Luhan wasn't even sure why it mattered to him so much that Xiumin was happy and he really wasn't sure why he always got nervous around the man and ended up forgetting a lot of his Korean. Luhan pretty much knew for sure that he was straight because he had a girlfriend in the past at his old university. So he couldn't understand why he felt that same light and misty feeling around the chubby-cheeked boy he just met yesterday.

 

When Luhan pushed open the café door, he scanned the shop for bags of coffee beans. However, something else caught his attention instead.

 

-

 

"…wait."

 

"God, I hate when people say 'wait' and I'm like 'that's what I'm doing! now get on with it' because I don't have all day you kn-"

 

"FUCK," Tao squeaked as he turned around and saw Luhan as he entered the café. "SEHUN HIDE ME."

 

"From what?"  
 

"JUST- I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE. I NEED PROTECTION!" Tao yelled a little too loud, catching Luhan's attention, who came strutting right over.

 

"Oh, protection! Then you're in luck because I carry around condoms everywhere I go so- wait, Tao, where are you going?"

 

Tao dove under the table and wrapped himself around Sehun's legs, trembling. He could hear the squeak of the chair he was previously in get pulled out as someone sat down across from Sehun.

 

Sehun looked up at the boy that just sat down. He looked very familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. The boy spoke first, narrowing his eyes in scrutiny.

 

"You… K - 01, right?"

 

"That's right… wait, you're from M - 00! Man, my RA hates you guys."

 

"…as does mine…" the boy said cooly.

 

"You're something like, like…. Rooham right?"

 

"Luhan."

 

"Close enough."

 

"Yeah, and that's Luhan HYUNG to you."

 

"No way, you're like 16 right? Same as me?"

 

"19."

 

"Holy shit dude, what moisturizer do you use? You look like a newborn baby-"

 

"Don't 'dude' me. Have some respect for your hyung."

 

"Earn it," Sehun said, smirking.

 

Luhan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Count to ten, Luhan. Breathe in, one, two, out, three, four, in, five, six…_

 

"Listen, Sehun, right?" Sehun nodded, taking a sip of his bubble tea. "I didn't come here to argue with you. I didn't even expect to see you here."

 

"And yet, here you are, talking to me."

 

"Yes, because I think you have some things that belong to me." He picked up the jacket from the back of his chair.

 

"Oh, that. It's not mine it's-" Sehun felt a sharp pain run through his leg and glanced down to see that Tao was biting him. "…woah I have no idea where that came from hyung!! You must've left it there!!"

 

"I've never been in this café before."

 

"It was aliens!! Hahaha… you know, that one meme…"

 

"I'm not a fan of memes, Sehun." Confirming Luhan's suspicions, he spotted movement from under the table, and saw a very familiar looking Louis Vuitton bag peaking out from under it. Luhan's eyebrows raised, and Sehun caught the action.

 

"What's the matter, Luhan hyung?" Sehun said sweetly, trying to give his best smile.

 

"Oh, oh nothing much. It just that, sitting here, my legs feel very restless."

 

"Um… we can go for a walk if you want!"

 

"Nah, I like sitting here and talking with you. Do you mind if I stretch my legs out a bit under the table? There's enough room, I'm sure."

 

"Uh…" Sehun could feel Tao shiver below the table.

 

"Ah, it does feel good to straighten out my legs. How about you, Sehun?" Luhan smiled as he stretched out his leg and his foot nudged something solid that seemed to move away at the touch.

 

"Um… no, that's alright… I'm good…"

 

"You seem distracted, Sehun. Is there something wrong?" Luhan began with light tapping using his foot, but he began to increase the amount of pressure he kicked with until he heard a small squeak from under the table. "Oh, what's that?"

 

"N-nothing hyung! Listen, we can go up to the counter if you want bubble tea and I'll get it for you! Let's go right now!"

 

"Hmmm…. You can get it for me. Taro please," Luhan responded, smiling and still kicking his legs. Suddenly, Tao burst out from under the table, yelling in Chinese.

 

_"GE GE I'M SORRY OKAY THE JACKET WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT!"_

 

_"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE JACKET BUT I HAVE TO TELL YIFAN ABOUT YOUR MEETING WITH SEHUN. IF HE FINDS OUT THAT I KNOW HE'LL MOVE ME TO ANOTHER DORM OR MURDER ME INSTEAD."_

 

_"GE NO, PLEASE I CAN'T DIE! NOT YET! THE FALL SAINT LAURENT COLLECTION IS ABOUT TO COME OUT AND GUCCI JUST RELEASED-"_

 

 _"THAT'S NO REASON TO WANT TO LIVE! AS FOR ME, THE DOCTOR PROMISED ME THAT MY PUBERTY ISN'T OVER YET SO I STILL HAVE YET TO GROW TALLER AND GET MANLIER."_ Luhan slapped a hand over his mouth because he couldn't believe he said that out loud.

 

"Hey guys, I don't understand what you're saying but people are staring."

 

Tao and Luhan looked around, and people were, in fact, staring. They both took a seat and talked once more in hushed voices.

 

"Ge, is there anything I can do that would prevent you from telling Yifan??" Tao pleaded, turning up the aegyo.

 

"Hmm… there's one thing…"

 

-

 

"Luhan what the fuck."

 

"HI MINGSOK!! Oh, Zitao, be careful with that!"

 

"GE I'M TRYING. IT'S HEAVY." Tao came through the door with his arms loaded with packages of coffee beans, and behind him, he was pulling a wagon with over three dozen more. Luhan had figured that if Zitao had enough money to spend on designer brands whenever the latest collections came out, he had enough to supply Xiumin's coffee needs for the entire year. All a small price to pay to keep safe from their scary resident advisor.

 

"Tao, MOVE your ASS that's not as great as mine but still pretty great." Right behind Tao stood Sehun who could barely see over the gigantic bouquet of roses he was carrying. Luhan saw that Sehun, too, was pretty well off for a college student (evident in the Gucci sunglasses Sehun tried to hide when Luhan started sizing him up to do a favor for him as well)  and as his hyung, Luhan made him buy the largest bunch of flowers the florists had. Sehun couldn't really say that he minded; Luhan seemed a lot better than his elders in his own dorm. Flowers were nothing when right next door they were all probably planning his death or boiling the water they would cook him in for dinner.

 

"Again, Luhan, what the fuck."

 

"So as you can see, I got your coffee and I also got flowers! F-for all of us haha… because atmosphere and ambience! Not just for you because that would be gay and I told you I'm only gay because I'm happy not because I'm GAY. Aha…"

 

       "He's so smooth oh wow I wonder if I can learn!"

 

       "Tao you're not serious, right?"

 

       "Of course I am!"

 

"Thanks… Luhan. Oh, and you too, Tao, and you… Sehun? You're from next door?" Minseok asked taking the flowers from Sehun's arms.

 

"Pleasedon'ttellJunmyeon," Sehun blurted.

 

"Of course I won't!" Sehun sighed with relief.

 

"Thank you so much, Minseok hyung!!" As he turned to leave, Minseok grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back.

 

"But do keep in mind that you are indebted to me," Minseok whispered sternly into Sehun's ear. Sehun gulped.

 

"Y-yes, hyung."

 

"Good. Now say hi to Baekhyun for me!!" Minseok said, waving cutely at Sehun as he left.

 

Zitao returned to his room now a bit terrified of the dorm's oldest. However, he didn't have much time to process it all when he came face to face with Yifan sitting on his bed. It appeared that Yifan was waiting for his arrival. Yifan's furrowed eyebrows felt like they were yelling at him already.

 

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- In one interview they did say that Minseok is the first to wake up  
> \- They also said that Yifan talks in his sleep in all the languages he knows  
> \- Flashback to EXO Showtime when Yifan bought Spongebob underpants for Chanyeol!!  
> \- Chen said that 1% of his mind is 19+ thoughts.... but honestly I have a feeling it's more than that


	5. EXTRA: [He's] Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little insight to what Jongin and Yifan were dreaming about...

It looks like I'm walking through a forest. It feels like I've been walking for a long time but the dream just started. I can't believe I can get tired in my dreams too! What a ripoff. Now do I have to take a nap while I'm sleeping? It's also really hot here and the bugs are super annoying but I guess I have no choice but to keep walking.

 

"HOLY SHIT."  
 

"Kaaiiii don't cuurrrssseee…" said a huge chicken with a booming and condescending voice. He jumped out of a bush and now he's blocking my way.

 

"Sorry, but you're in my way. You need to move."

 

"Kaiiii I am here to give you wiiisssdoommmm."

 

"I already got them extracted thanks I don't need more wisdom teeth."

 

"Nooo not thoosssee you oaf."

 

"Oh."

 

"Now liiiissstttteeennnn caaarrreeeeffuuullllyyyyyy."

 

"Can you stop talking like that? It's a little annoying."  
 

"Sorry. I'm really insecure about that habit."

 

"It's okay. I'm sorry. Please continue."

 

"Answer me this, Kai: how do chicken eggs usually come?"

 

"I don't know… shouldn't I be asking you that? How would I know what they feel like when you pop 'em out?"

 

"No, no. I mean when you buy them from the store in the egg crate."

 

"Oh. Um… raw."

 

"… what else?"

 

"cold, hopefully whole with a good expiration date, sometimes they're white or brown, they shouldn't smell or be soft or cracked…"

 

"That's not… okay maybe I wasn't clear enough. What about quantitative qualities?? A number associating with eggs??"  
  
"OH. Well I don't know exactly how much each egg weighs or how much stuff is in it so I can't give you an exact number but I know that people usually buy the large eggs or sometimes extra large eggs and those seem to be the standard? So I don't get why they call them large eggs if most people buy them instead of-"

 

"NO NO I'M TALKING ABOUT AMOUNT! WHAT AMOUNT IS ASSOCIATED WITH EGGS?"

 

"I usually get the pack of 10 eggs."

 

"A DOZEN. IT'S A DOZEN. AS IN 12."

 

"Ohh… Why didn't you just say that from the start?"

 

"I'm supposed to be teaching you and it doesn't work if I tell you everything! Anyway, There are six eggs on one side, and six on the other, right?"

 

"Right."  
 

"Each egg is very different. They probably all came from different chickens and all have different DNA. They had the potential to be a life, but now their duty is to help supply life to others. Which is, whoever eats them. Let's say you wanted to make an omelet with all twelve. Through every step you must be careful with each egg; break it open with care so no shell gets in the mix, make sure none fall and break, and the most important thing for this omelet is that you cannot scramble it too much. Once you begin, you have to whisk all the eggs together, but afterward, the omelet must sit flat  and peacefully in the pan. Do no make it into scrambled eggs. Do NOT."

 

"Why are you telling me how to cook eggs? Doesn't that make you a cannibal then since you're a chicken?"

 

"Listen, Kai, it's your job to make sure they don't get scrambled too much. Each side of six eggs will naturally be closer because they are on the same side. And maybe a few will want to scramble but don't let them."

 

"Dude, this is getting really weird I don't even like omelets that much."

 

"Just- JUST DON'T SCRAMBLE THE EGGS, KAI. YOU'RE MAKING AN OMELET."

 

The chicken flew off (although I don't think that chickens can actually fly but this is a dream, after all) and now I'm standing in the woods alone. I'm getting hungry but maybe not for eggs right now…

 

-

 

"Kriscasso!! There you are!!"

 

I turn around to see Mr. Dragon Man welcoming me. He has two heads and the heads look like my own head but they're bald. I think that's scarier than a real dragon head.

 

"Hello Mr. Dragon Man!! Have you given thought to putting my artwork in your exhibit yet?"

 

"Ah, yes… about that, Kriscasso… We don't really think that your work matches the overall… vibe of this gallery…"  
 

"What do you mean? I drew a dragon and an alligator and your gallery is all about reptiles!!"  
 

"Uh, to put it simply, we don't believe that the quality of your work is up to par with the rest."

 

"What?! Come on now!! Come back!! Are you WALKING AWAY FROM ME??" I start running to catch up. "Hey… hey you!" Mr. Dragon Man stopped to turn around. "Yeah, you." I made my most menacing face and stood up straight. "I'll kill you and eat you for breakfast!!"

 

Mr. Dragon Man actually looks terrified. Nice one, Kriscasso. Now Mr. Dragon man is mumbling incoherently but that's just where I want him. So I walk over and put my hand on his back.

 

“Just… just put my artwork in your gallery and it’ll be all cool, Mr. Dragon Man.”

 

There's a noise from behind us and I turn to see a pink panda standing there whining about something again. I feel bad but I can't tend to him right now because I could possibly lose this opportunity.

 

“…Zitao, not now… Mr. Dragon Man is about to hang my artwork in his gallery…” I give Mr. Dragon Man another hard stare. "Isn't that right, Mr. Dragon Man?" He nods frantically. "What I create is true modern minimalist art and the entire world must see my genius!"

 

We're walking to his office to work out the details but I feel myself waking up. Why do my dreams have to end at the best parts?

 

"I'll be back for you, Mr. Dragon Man."

 

"Y-yes, Kriscasso, sir!"


	6. Chapter Five: Juliet (Part 2)

“OH FUCKING SEHUN GET YOUR ASS INSIDE THIS DORM RIGHT NOW.”

 

Sehun froze outside of K – 01. He hadn’t even turned the door’s handle yet. How did Junmyeon know he was outside? Freaky…

 

Sehun gulped and reached for the handle. They really wouldn’t kill him, right?? No punishment could be that bad if they had to spend the entire year in the same room as everyone else. No, whatever was waiting for him on the other side of the door had to be something he could handle. Junmyeon couldn’t use his power as an RA to get him in trouble just for socializing. He took a deep breath and turned the knob…

 

As soon as he entered the room he was met with a strikingly pale, voluptuous (yet not as voluptuous as his own) bottom. And screaming. A lot of screaming. Nothing could have prepared him for this. He looked around and realized that no one in the room was wearing any pants or even underpants, and the owner to the pale bottom in his view was Junmyeon, bent down trying to cover his junk in the front. In the center of the room stood Baekhyun with his hands on his hips and everything proudly hanging out. Kyungsoo was hiding behind some chairs in the kitchen and Chanyeol was next to Baekhyun, arguing about something. When Junmyeon realized Sehun had finally come in, he stood up, startled and backed away slowly. Sehun stared on at the odd scene with wide eyes until he thought it best to look down at the ground.

 

“JUNMYEON HYUNG I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID AND IF ALL OF THIS WAS A PUNISHMENT TO FREAK ME OUT THEN IT WORKED BUT PLEASE DON’T CONTINUE. I’LL SCUB THE BATHROOM FOR A MONTH, VACUUM, WASH DISHES, ANYTHING JUST PLEASE PUT PANTS ON I’M SO SORRY I-“

 

“SEHUN THAT’S NOT IT SHUT UP FOR A SECOND,” Junmyeon yelled. Sehun did as he was told and continued staring at the ground. Junmyeon continued and sighed. “Just so you know, we didn’t get all naked to punish you. The problem is Jongin’s dog. As displayed yesterday, this dog has a thing for pants. Yesterday, it only managed to take a bite out of the bottom of Baekhyun’s jeans, and today it terrorized the rest of us, and then some. We also learned that Jongin not only brought one dog, but two others.”

 

Junmyeon could see the shock on Sehun’s face. “And these dogs did this how??”

 

“It’s a long story and I won’t elaborate.” Sehun nodded. “So anyway, whenever one of us tries to get back in our rooms to grab pants, the dogs block us and bite us.” Sure enough, there were three dogs seated outside of each room. They were all gnawing on strips of plaid pajama pants and ripped boxers.

 

Smart dogs, Sehun mused.

 

“And we were thinking that because you’re Jongin’s friend that they would possibly… allow you to get past? Or at least wake up Jongin. Chanyeol tried but he was too much of a coward.”

 

“I heard that!”

 

“I know you did! But Sehun, you’re our only hope. Jongin hasn’t woken up this entire time and I have no idea how long he’ll sleep for.”

 

“Oh, so now you trust me and need my help, huh?”

 

“…yes, Sehun, that’s what I’m saying…”

 

Sehun smirked. Perfect.

 

“I’ll only help you if you’re not mad at me anymore for visiting Tao.”

 

“Yeah, fine whatever.”

 

“AND if I can visit him as much as I want.”

 

“Sehun…”

 

“I guess you don’t need pants then…” Sehun turned to go out the door.

 

“Okay fine. You can see him whenever you want but be warned. I have no idea what that hooligan leader next door will do. I’m not in charge of him.”

 

Sehun spun around gleefully. “I knew you’d come around hyung!!!” Junmyeon rolled his eyes. If only the need for pants wasn’t so strong.

 

Sehun got to work right away.

 

“Kyungsoo, I need to you heat up the leftover fried chicken from last night. Chanyeol and Baekhyun, go through my boxes and find my speakers.” Meanwhile, Sehun searched his playlist for the only song that had any chance of waking Jongin up.

 

“Kyungsoo, you ready?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Baekhyun? Chanyeol?” They nodded and handed him the speakers.

 

“Okay guys, here we go.” Sehun turned up the volume to full power and pressed play. [Soon, Jongin’s “jam” was blasting through the entire dorm. Hell, the entire building.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

 

Junmyeon massaged his nosebridge upon hearing the song at full blast. “Are you sure this is doing to work or just piss off everyone in the neighborhood?”

 

“No, no it’ll work. I swear.”

 

“And this isn’t a joke?”

 

“Unfortunately not.”

 

Suddenly, the door to Jongin’s room burst open, and out popped Jongin who was swaying his hips to the beat. He was really feeling it. All three of his dogs ran to greet him as he sashayed to the kitchen counter and popped a piece of fried chicken in his mouth. He kept dancing as he chewed and everyone in the room watched in silence. At the start of the second verse, he realized that everyone’s eyes were on him and he slowly stopped to look at everyone in the room.

 

“… umm… good morning guys?”

 

Sehun cut the music.

 

“Good morning, Jongin,” Junmyeon said with his teeth clenched.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“What do you mean ‘what’s up?’ do you notice anything? Are you blind?” Sehun had to grab on to his shoulders to keep from lunging at the boy eating the chicken.

 

“No pants…?”

 

“YES Jongin NO PANTS.”

 

“I just… didn’t want to point it out and be rude you know? Like maybe that’s a thing that you all do and I can’t say that I really mind it…”

 

“NO THIS ISN’T SOMETHING WE JUST DO” Junmyeon yelled, arms flailing until he realized that had uncovered his doodads in the front and he quickly placed his hands over his crotch once more.

 

“So do you mind me asking why?”

 

“SOMEONE in this dorm just HAD to bring his three dogs that have a habit of stealing pants.”

 

“I wonder who would… Ohh… oh oh that’s me right?”

 

“YOU DON’T SAY.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“DON’T JUST SAY SORRY. DO SOMETHING.”

 

“Ah, ah. Right. Monggu! Jjanggu! Jjangah!” All three dogs dropped the fabric they had between their teeth and ran to Jongin. Jongin made his way over to his room where he emerged with leashes that he clipped on to each dog and attached to his bedpost. Junmyeon followed him into his room and shut the door. Everyone could hear Junmyeon’s lecture through the door.

 

Kyungsoo was grumbling and made his way back to his room and Chanyeol did the same. Sehun texted Tao that everything with Junmyeon was settled.

 

Sehun: Hey it’s all good over here Jun isn’t mad

 

Zitao: wow really? That’s awesome.

Zitao: I’m on toilet cleaning duty for the next month TT

 

Sehun: hahaha

Sehun: btw did you hear any music?

 

Zitao: that was you guys?

Zitao: why…?

 

Sehun: Long story. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Same place same time?

 

Zitao: what if I get caught again?

 

Sehun: I’ll help you clean the toilets

 

Zitao: Deal. Same place, same time.

 

Sehun: see you later Swaggy T

 

Sehun smiled as he put his phone in his pocket. He looked up to see Baekhyun sitting on the couch with his legs sprawled out, still lacking pants.

 

“Baek, you can go back to your room now…”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then why are you still half naked?”

 

“It’s refreshing. And clearly you don’t mind all that much.”

 

Sehun realized he was staring pretty hard and hurried off to his room. Baekhyun smirked and sank down further into the couch with his hands behind his head.

 

-

 

“Listen up everyone!” Yifan’s loud voice rang through the air. “We’re going to war tonight and we need to be prepared!”

 

“What is this meeting about?”

 

“Chen, did you read the pamphlet?”

 

“Of course not who reads those?”

 

Yifan sent one flying across the room, hitting him square in the face.

 

“There are new student orientation activities going on all week and I heard that it’s a competition that’s usually dorm against dorm-“

 

“Oh god, not this again,” Luhan grumbled.

 

“-and we need to be on top!! At the end of the week we have to be victorious!!”

 

“Translation: we just need to beat K – 01,” Chen said, rolling his eyes. Luhan high fived him.

 

“Listen guys this is serious!! The winning dorm gets a semester of free meal plan!”

 

Chen and Luhan turned to Yifan in sync. Luhan jumped up on his feet.

 

“OKAY GUYS we need to discuss strategy. Minseok, during the paint ball event I think you should stay close to me and Zitao, I don’t know the capabilities of the people over there but can you flirt more with Sehun so he’ll reveal their secrets to you? And Yixing how do you feel about buying five pounds of orbeez?”

 

“That’s the spirit, Luhan! Well done. We’ll crush K – 01 for sure mua ha ha ha! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.” Everyone stared as Yifan laughed maniacally. Xiumin just shook his head.

 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Everyone turned and Xiumin rose up to get it. On the other side stood Junmyeon who strutted in the room. Everyone could feel the tension in the air as Junmyeon and Yifan stared each other down.

 

“What are you doing here?” Kris hissed.

 

Suho held up a piece of paper and shoved it in Kris’ face. He read it with intensity and his eyes grew wide.

 

-

 

“We have to work together?!” Chanyeol exclaimed, grabbing the paper from Junmyeon’s hand.

 

“Yeah I can see my homeboys Jongdae and Minseok!”

 

Junmyeon slapped Baekhyun’s arm. “Your ‘homeboys’ are under the rule of that insufferable-“

 

“Yah yah I get it. But just because you have beef with Kris doesn’t mean we gotta have beef with everyone else.”

 

Junmyeon sighed. “Look, I’m not saying you can’t be friends with the people over there but I would just prefer that your closest friends are over here. I don’t trust that guy.”

 

“Yes MOM,” Baekhyun pouted, earning another smack.

 

-

 

“Now listen, I know you two don’t get along but seriously, if we work together as a team we’ll all get free meals for a whole semester. Isn’t it worth putting aside any issues with one another for that? For one week?” Xiumin reasoned.

 

“Fine.” Suho and Kris said in unison, not taking their eyes off of each other.

 

“Mmm that tension though,” Luhan pointed out, leaning back in his chair.

 

“It’s like acting straight from a drama,” Chen said, nodding his head.

 

“You know there are many different kinds of tension, Chen.”

 

“Oh yes, I’m quite aware.”

 

“My favorite is the kind you see in fanfics. I believe I read a really good one about TVXQ once,” Luhan pondered.

 

“Really now? And how did that go?”

 

“It wasn’t the kind of tension where they were angry because in the end they ended up-“

 

Suho and Kris turned and glared at Chen and Luhan, who shrank down in their seats.

 

“…they ended up as close friends in the end…” Luhan whispered with terror in his eyes.

 

“Control them,” Suho gritted through his teeth.

 

“I-“

 

“JUST FUCK ALREADY!” Baekhyun yelled as he stuck his head through the bathroom doorframe.

 

“Hey Baek!!” Chen called. Baekhyun waved his hands frantically at Chen.

 

Xiumin facepalmed. This was going to be an interesting week.

 

As everyone left to go back to their dorms and rooms, the only ones left in M’s common area were Xiumin and Lay.

 

“Lay, what are we going to do with these people?”

 

“… scrambled eggs… can eggs be unscrambled?”

 

“No?”

 

“Bummer. Hope Kai isn’t too late then.”

 

Xiumin shook his head, confused and headed back to his room. Lay stayed seated, staring off into all seeing nothingness.


End file.
